Jury Duty – REVEALED!!

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After accidentally-on-purpose missing a jury summons a few months ago, The Man finally caught up to me again. So yesterday, I arrived to the Supreme Court building in downtown Brooklyn. It was a rather uneventful day, I mostly just read the news on the interweb blog websites. Except for the following…

A direct quote taken completely out of context (I just happened to look up at this moment) from my Jury Education Video that was playing on about ten flat screen TVs around the room: “Diversity is a great threat to our society, and our judicial system as well.” Wait, what?!

This is classic. A woman two rows in front of me – granted, she seemed a little dim from how she was talking to the people next to her -- maybe in her late forties, takes the cake as a Future Darwin Award Winner. The court officer who was running things was going through all the reasons you could be excused, and got to “If you don’t have a working knowledge of the English language you may be excused. Please come to the front of the room so I can sign your forms.” This lady stood up and walked to the front of the room and talked to the officer for about a minute. He then asked her to sit back down, because the very fact that she could understand the question, meant she had a working knowledge of the English language.

I was audibly laughing to myself from the moment she stood up.

On the other hand, she could have just been hard of hearing, and I’m an evil presumptive bastard…

The other thing that gave me hope about the human species was when people would arrive to jury duty, even when their summons card had a different date on it. I mean, isn’t that the true nature of civic duty? The bluebirds of joy sang when those who went up to the front of the room to try and get excused for having the wrong date on their card, only to find out that today’s date was, in fact, on their card. Even after it was read about 5 times over the loud speaker. In all seriousness, I am shocked humans haven't died out years ago.

And that, was jury duty. I didn’t get picked for a jury, got out early, and went rock climbing. Good day, all in all. I would recommend it to anyone. Think of it as Civic Freedom Day.

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Obama: 5, McCain: 0, Public: ??

How Canadians make fun of Americans: they interview us.